And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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