Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It's rum buckets o'clock
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
