We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
