return my video game
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
