Me. At least after what I've been through.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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