I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
