we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
