hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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