I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
