walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
