I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i think my mom watched the whole time
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Randomize
