Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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