I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize