No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
