it was like his penis was on wheels.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
