So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
