if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You were trust falling into bushes
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