community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
