tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
