Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
