But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
