i think my tv is drunk
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think a kid would responsible me up
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
