two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
