The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I need to calm my uterus...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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