I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's the barista slut.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Watching her eat just hurts me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
