I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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