you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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