Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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