Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
