we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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