Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize