So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
