Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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