THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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