I cockslap morals
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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