we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I have aggressive nipples.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm bleeding and have questions
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
