careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
