I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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