Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
