Me. At least after what I've been through.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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