Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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