I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
