Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"

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(404): View more from Georgia

She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila

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(206): View more from Washington

The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world

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