You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
