I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
