Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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