Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
