Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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