Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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