So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
