Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Randomize
