the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Bring me that man meat
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
