He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
