i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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