i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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