:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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