No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
