She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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