Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
