p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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