Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
