just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
