what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
